


Want One?

by Ginipig



Series: Cullistair One-Shots [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Cullen Rutherford's family - Freeform, Discussion of Children, Discussion of Parenthood, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22298047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ginipig/pseuds/Ginipig
Summary: While visiting Cullen’s family, nieces and nephews of various ages raise the topic of children for Alistair and Cullen. They’re on the same page — or are they?
Relationships: Alistair/Cullen Rutherford, cullistair - Relationship
Series: Cullistair One-Shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1604995
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Want One?

Alistair smiled, handing Cullen a glass of water when he walked up to the porch, panting.

“Having fun?”

Grinning, Cullen ran a hand through his curls, free and damp from sweat. “They’re running me ragged out there.”

They both looked into the yard, where Cullen’s nieces and nephews were engaged in some elaborate game involving chasing each other and a ball. A few of Cullen’s siblings were playing still, while some had stayed in the cool house.

Alistair nudged Cullen, who was now smiling wistfully out at the children. “Want one?”

“Hmm?” Cullen’s smile stayed in place as he turned to Alistair; only then did it evaporate as he seemed to fully process what Alistair had said. “A child?” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “I — I think not.”

“Oh.” Alistair tried not to sound as disappointed as he felt. “You were having so much fun. I just thought you might —”

“I think I’m content with being an uncle,” said Cullen. Decided and firm. “With my job and the lyrium … I’m not sure bringing children into those struggles would be a good thing.” He glanced at Alistair. “Do you —?”

“No, no,” Alistair said quickly. “I agree. With the Wardens, I do so much traveling. Between the two of us, we hardly have time for ourselves!” His grin was brittle as he looked out at the children again. “Uncle Alistair has a nice ring to it.”

“I agree.” Cullen smiled. “I’m going back out there. Do you want to join?”

Alistair shook his head. “I like the view from here.”

It was true. As Cullen was nearly tackled by half a dozen children, Alistair could pretend for a little while that they were theirs. If Cullen didn’t see them having kids, he could live with that. He was lucky enough to have found Cullen. Maybe the family he’d always wanted growing up just wasn’t meant to be.

* * *

They stayed at Mia’s for a week, and Cullen was glad to see Alistair enjoying himself. He fit right in, and that made Cullen happier than he’d ever thought possible.

Alistair was so good with them all, especially the little ones. Rosalie’s youngest was barely four months old, and Alistair spent more time holding her than Rosalie did. He would chat animatedly to her when she was awake, rock her when she cried, and insist he was fine holding her while she slept. The only time he relinquished her was for feedings and changes, although he occasionally helped with the latter, as well.

But even while holding the little one, he managed to make an impression on all Cullen’s nieces and nephews. He joked with the older ones, nodded along seriously at the younger ones’ lengthy and meandering stories, and teased the toddlers by blocking them access to whatever was behind his legs at the time. Cullen seemed to hear a lovingly aggravated, “Uncle Alistair!” several times an hour.

Watching him with the children made Cullen’s heart ache. Alistair would be an excellent father, yet he’d so enthusiastically declared that he enjoyed being an uncle, agreeing with Cullen that they likely wouldn’t have room for more in their lives.

Still, he imagined Alistair rocking _their_ infant, teasing _their_ toddler, picking up _their_ child and spinning him or her around to cries of “Papa” rather than “Uncle Alistair,” and they made his cheeks hurt from smiling.

On their last evening with Cullen’s family, Alistair sat off to the side with a wistful smile, watching all the children run and laugh as he rocked the youngest to sleep.

Cullen glanced at him occasionally, and in the glint of the setting sun, he could have sworn he saw Alistair blinking back tears as he looked down at the beautiful little girl in his arms.

Cullen made his way over, realizing as he approached just how entranced Alistair was — he didn’t even seem to notice Cullen sit in the chair next to him, so focused was he on stroking the chubby little cheek with his finger.

“Are you all right?” Cullen asked.

Alistair startled, wiping his cheek on his shoulder before he turned with a smile. “Hey. Yes, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You seem quite taken with her.”

“As would anyone! Have you _smelled_ her?” He inhaled deeply. “If I could bottle this up and sell it in Val Royeaux, I’d make millions.”

“Alistair —”

“I mean look at her, Cullen! After all the horrific things we’ve seen, how is it possible something so precious and beautiful can exist?”

As always, Cullen couldn’t help but smile at Alistair’s enthusiasm and infinite capacity for love, even when the man broke his heart.

“How is it possible,” he said softly, “that you are such a terrible liar, and yet I still fell for it?”

Alistair looked at him sharply.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve, love.” Cullen brushed his niece’s hair with his fingers. “Why wouldn’t you just tell me?”

Alistair tucked the blanket tighter around the babe with intense focus. “You made a good argument, and I didn’t want to make you feel bad. You’ve struggled so much, you don’t need —”

“Need? No. But want? How can I not when all I’ve been imagining this week is you as the father of our children?”

Alistair lifted his gaze to Cullen’s, eyes filled with tears.

“I’ve always wanted a family,” Cullen said to his hands. “But the idea of it … frightens me. I’ve made so many mistakes, and sometimes it feels easier to give up on some things than risk making a new mess. But with you,” he said, cupping Alistair’s cheek, “I’m not so scared. You’ll be a wonderful father, Alistair, and I want to see every moment of it.”

“I love you,” Alistair whispered.

Cullen leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Alistair’s lips, more than merely a declaration of his love.

It was a promise.


End file.
